#could be a vent but really i’m just kinda vibing | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

the1975attheirverybest · 2 years ago

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just could really use something where maybe ur anxious and crying or whatever it may be for whatever reason and matty just holds u and runs his hands through your hair and whispers sweet nothings and affirmations IDK i just feel kinda shit rn ig

Oh, honey. I’m so sorry you’re having a difficult time right now. Please know that it will pass. Even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. I am sending you all the best vibes and well wishes. I’m here for you, if you need to vent or chat or anything at all. Been there myself. More times than I can count. So, I completely understand. ❤️ I hope that this can at least bring a smile to your face.

——

Matty walked through the door, expecting to be greeted with a hug from his favorite human being, after a long day at work. He kicked his shoes off, glancing around the room for signs of her. His brows furrow at the eerie silence. He’s used to the speakers blasting music, the sounds and smells of her cooking, or the TV being on, at the very least. This quiet was unsettling.

He rushes up the stairs, whistling the tune of the song he’s been working on all day. He peaks his head into the bedroom and smiles when his eyes finally land on her figure.

“Hey, baby! What’re you doin’ up here so early?” He walks over, a bit concerned that she doesn’t turn around to look at him as soon as he shows up. “Hey, you sleepin’ or something?”

She eventually pulls herself up and turns to face him, mumbling a soft apology. “Sorry, I- umm, just didn’t hear you come in.”

Matty is alarmed. How could she not have heard him come in, walk up the stairs, and all the way to the bedroom? He sits by her on the bed, taking her face in his hands and looking her straight in the eyes. Which is when it dawns on him that she’s on the verge of tears.

“Hey, honey, what’s the matter, my love?”

She bites her wobbly lip, struggling to keep from crying. All the effort that she had put into shoving her anxious thoughts into the back of her mind, and all the energy that she had spent telling herself to power through the hard part, and to just be strong for one more day, was now washing away at the sound of his gentle coaxing pulling at her heartstrings.

She shakes her head and attempts to brush him off, but Matty will not hear of it. He can tell she’s upset, and his heart is breaking at the tears in her eyes. “Baby, please talk to me. What’s the matter?” His hand on her neck and bottom of her cheek, pulls her into him, and she can no longer keep the tears at bay. She sobs into his arms, with him holding her tight, and vents to him while his shirt soaks up her tears, about how awful she’s been feeling for a long time now. That she feels stuck and helpless with her mind spiraling all the time. It feels like the world around her is moving at warp speed, and she has to exert twice as much energy just to try and keep up, and most of the time, she can’t even do that. And she feels guilty for even being upset because she knows she’s supposed to be stronger than this, but she’s just so exhausted all the time.

Matty listens to her speak and feels the sobs shake her whole body as they leave her lips and his heart shatters to a million pieces. “Baby, why haven’t you said anything? I wish you’d talked to me…if I’d known that you’ve been feeling this way- fuck, I never would’ve left for work this morning.” He hates to imagine that while he slept soundly by her side every night, she’s been lying awake struggling in anguish without his support.

He pulls them both into the bed so he’s resting his back against the headboard, with her in his lap, stroking her hair, kissing her forehead and cooing to her. “It’s okay, my love. I’ve got you. You’re not alone. Don’t have to be strong anymore. You can fall apart if you need to. I’ll catch you, I’ll put you back together.”

She falls asleep with him holding her, and he’s there in the morning when she tries to pretend everything’s fine and start her day anew.

“You need to rest. You can’t fix your situation if you’re running on fumes.”

“But life doesn’t pause and wait for me. If I don’t get on with it, I’ll fall behind. It’ll be even worse!” She feels the emotions bubble back up to the surface, but she doesn’t have time for this right now. She’s a grown up, with real responsibilities, and no time for outbursts.

“Fuck that shit! I couldn’t give a rats ass about the rest of the world. What I care about is you. My love. My favorite person. Everyone else could set themselves on fire for all I care. If you’re not healthy, how could you be expected to get anything done?” He puts his hands on both of her shoulders, dragging her back to bed. “Please. Stay here with me. Just for today. Let me spoil you. Let me take care of you. We’ll have a day in. Just us. I wanna talk. Feel like I haven’t been present. I wanna know what’s going on in that pretty little head of yours. If all you need is some rest, we’ll make sure you get it. If you need professional help, I want to make sure you have it. Please, baby, stay home with me.”

And how could she refuse. When he looks at her with his pretty eyes and she sees the concern that fills them, she knows he’s right. And at least for the moment, the burden isn’t as heavy. Knowing that he would gladly carry it with her is the first glimmer of hope she’s felt in a long time.

#matty healy #matty healy fanfiction #matty healy x reader #matty healy x y/n #matty healy fanfic #matty healy x you #matty healy fluff

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neutron-stars-collision · 10 days ago

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I really hope you don't mind me coming in and venting some of my season 3 musings as I have no-one irl to vent. Feel free to ignore.

I enjoyed the season, but honestly felt like Colin (and particularly Luke) were sidelined in part 2.

It was not meant to be split into two parts, it flows so much better as one.

I hate the wigs they put on Luke. Could they have not afforded better for the lead in his season.

I honestly am glad the Ambrosia scenes were cut. So many people would have hated on Colin for 'cheating' on Pen.

I remember the rumours of the Contessa coming back in part 2, and I was convinced it would be Ambrosia -- there was a casting article made during filming and it said it would be mostly with Luke Newton.

I don't know why but I think I'm going to vibe more with season 4. I can just enjoy the happy married Polin content and not be as invested in the main plot.

I don’t mind at all! In fact, tumblr is my only echo chamber for Bridgerton/Luke-related musings, so I always welcome a chance to talk and ramble about it.

1. I definitely agree. As much as I didn’t mind the season, Luke was 100% underused/undermined. They should’ve given him more material and Colin deserved much more too. S3 was Pen’s season despite the fact that she’s not a Bridgeton (by birth).

2. I think it would’ve worked better as one, whole season but also the split was in the right place. As in it was the best place they could’ve split the season, bc the two parts worked kinda separately. If they had to.

3. The wig is the bane of my existence fr! It looked horrible, and even Luke couldn’t pull it off, which says a lot lol

4. Agreed. As much as I, personally, wouldn’t mind the Ambrosia scene, I know Colin haters would eat that shit up. And I don’t like giving them material for hating my boy.

5. I’ve no recollection of anything like that… But tbf before part 2 there’s been so many different rumours and theories, that too might’ve come up. Still glad it didn’t happen. I personally like the idea that Contessa wasn’t as important as Colin made her out to be. As in that he made some of it up as a part of his “fuck boy persona”.

6. Going into s4 with expectations of romance and lowkey fun is the best thing imo. I’m not really phased as I don’t care about Benedict 🙈, but I’m looking forward to any crumbs Polin will get.

#keep them messages coming seriously #might take me a couple of hours to reply but I will #polin

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ask-carmenpondiego · 5 months ago

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Chapter 26: Timey Wimey Time for a New Era

“Its not a damned crush. I swear you busybodies have nothing better to fuckin do. Get back to whatever the fuck you were doin!” M exploded, the faintest blush upon his cheeks as he stormed off to his room, slamming the door. Wally shrugged, “Ah he’ll get over it! Its not like its his first.” Daring and Kiros looked at each other with a questioning look, Daring asking, “Dad, has he done this with that other girl Molli?” He thought back for a bit, “My memory that far back is a bit fuzzy still but I think that was pure hook ups to appease her or using her as a vent for frustration. I dont remember him being that tender to anyone really. But then again like I said, my memory.. aint what it used to be.” Kiros hmmed a bit and shrugged, “I think I’ll see what he’s up to, maybe he just needs a bit of a chat and not bullying.”

Daring raised an eyebrow. “Like bro bonding time? You have already known him how long now?” Kiros chuckled, ruffling her bobbed hair, “Just because we’ve been teammates for a couple decades doesnt mean I cant check in on him. He’s usually a loner out of all of us. He probably feels a bit of pressure to get you up to speed on things.” Daring scowled, thinking. “I think you should let him cool off for a bit. I know you have some high security access, you could teach me a few things. Plus he still kinda creeps me out.” Kiros laughed, “Him? Other than the horror show wanna be vibe, he’s a big grumpy softie. Come on, I’ll tell you more while I show you more of the research lab and library. You’ll need to know how to access the good stuff.” They headed out and Wally sighed, scratching his head. “Well.. it sure is more quiet around here.. its like a mini vacation.”

It in fact was not quite like a mini vacation. That night Wally tried cooking a meal for everyone… which turned out completely inedible. And the cabinets above the stove also became a charred disaster. For the entire month, everyone had some sort of take out as the kitchen was slowly repaired like new. Daring was actually learning the ropes and liking it, as the month flew by, once planning a heist of her own and borrowing her mother’s coat and hat. As luck would have it, the TARDIS showed up shortly before and a blonde maned pink earth pony mare stepped out in a bit of a baggy coat one would see from a thrift store, with a mechanical component and an odd looking sonic screwdriver. “Right, hello. I’m the Doctor, I returned with that thing you needed for your portal door.” M, being skeptical, gruffed, “What the fuck happened to the older silver haired gent?” The mare chuckled, “Oh, thats me, new face. I was forced to regenerate but thats no big deal right now. Lets get you up and running finally, yeah?” M crossed his arms after showing her the way again, narrowing his eyes. “Bah.. too cheerful. I was amused by the bickering before.” The mare Doctor shrugs and begins to tinker about the console and installed the component, buzzing her screwdriver here and there. “Yeah well, times change and so do people. I bet you could change too. Always so angry and cold. You should find someone you like and I dunno. Have a date! Or just hang out. Something with someone you dont mind spending time with, doesnt have to be romantic.” M snuffed in silent retort, looking away as she mentions dates and such. “I have no use fer that fuckin stuff.” The Doctor got up from being on her back and under the console, dusting herself off. “Aahh, I see that eye avoidance though. You thought of at least one person you would consider. Obviously you dont have to, I’m not going to force you. You do what you want. You know you best.”

M rolled his eyes and went over to the console to inspect it, “So is this ready to go? We can open portals and not be fuckin flagged or seen? No beacons or flares or anything?” She shook her head, “Completely off the grid! Now when you see Carmen again, tell her that she owes me one. We aren’t even fully yet! She still owes me from stealing Sexy from me twice!” M scoffs, “Eehh you know Red, she keeps her word, but she is a bit of a weird monster fucker.. I suppose Police Boxes fit that category some fuckin how.” Daring walked into the mech lab with an oversized red trenchcoat and hat. “Are you sure I need to wear this? Didnt she have a smaller size?” She sees the Doctor and blinks, “Oh, I’m sorry, I didnt realize I was interrupting something.” The pink mare beamed, “Oh my gosh lookit you! You shrank! No. Not shrank. You’re not Carmen. Who are you?” Daring kept trying to adjust the hat, “I’m her daughter Daring Do. She calls me Adora.” The Doctor beamed more, “Oh that is stonkin!! A family heist then?? Is it your first one? Oh you’ll have fun! Ol Marehem here will keep you safe. I’ve heard a lot about you and your brother. I hope to see him someday! For now, I do have to run. Just call if you need me!” She had looked at her watch and was already half in the TARDIS before Daring got anything out to say.

M snorted a bit, “Liked the previous Doctor better. More realistic and not so… chipper.” Daring pointed to where the TARDIS was already faded away, “Did I just meet the Doctor? She’s kinda all over the place, isn’t she? Is she always that hyper?” M threw up his hands, “I don’t know, they’ve all had their fuckin hyper moments. Especially when they are fuckin easily excitable. Anyway, lets get this fuckin thing started up. You said you want a heist on a different Earth if we got this running before yer mom got back. Sooo.. Where the fuck you wanna go?” He took a closer look at her and gave a face. “What? Do I disgust you or something?” She huffed. He reached into the shadow and pulled out a fake horn and a brown wig. He fixed the horn to the hat and plopped the wig onto her head. “She hasnt been seen since the accident, so no one knows her change in appearance. She is fuckin self conscious of what the media says, so put this on and from security cameras, you should look spot on.” Daring scowled as she adjusted the wig, “Why would it matter if we’re going to another world? And where did you even get this stuff?” M planted the hat haphazardly onto her head, “Hey, I dont ask where you get your fucking audacity but here we are.. just fuckin use it, and we’ll go from there. Its all her fuckin image reputation shit.. Alright, call yer troops and let’s head out fer yer first heist.”

Daring smirked, “Right.. um.. Oh one more thing to bring.” She had him follow her to the loot storage and pulled out a rolled up tapestry from a museum from their world’s Italy. “I saw that Mom already nicked this one. What if I play a prank she may appreciate? What if we switch the tapestries? Another Earth is sure to have one like this as well? Right?” M took a look at the label Carmen had made for it and he chuckled. “Ya know, I think that would be rather hilarious. Probably against her wishes of letting this go to the hands of someone she doesnt know but, then again, we are fuckin providing her with a technically more rare one. I’ll run it through 079 and see if there is another one of these elsewhere in the fuckin multiverse.” He scanned the tag from his phone and shortly 079 brought up a result and even more information.

“So the tapestry you were seeking is from Earth N37FL1X, it was in display in Italy just a while ago. Mostly populated by animated beings called humans. Very basic species, not very colorful except in culture and language.. and there are reports of what looks to be a young Carmen in her 20’s running about, stealing from an Organization called VILE, oh what a coinkidink and is pursued by a policing agency called ACME. Sounds familiar. Currently if you leave now, I can set the date to when they are in pursuit in a place called Moscow, leaving this Italian museum open for your little field trip.” Daring smiled, “Sounds good! Wait.. why am I excited about that?” M puffed on his cigarette and grins, patting her head, smooshing the hat a little. “Because you just made a basic plan of action and its working in yer favor. Yer mom gets the same way, must run in the family. Now, next thing to do check what kind of other security is involved. Just because this ACME group is preoccupied, doesnt mean the rest of the world is unguarded. 079, can you get the layout deets fer that fuckin museum? A simple fuckin sneak and steal should be an easy first heist.”

Later that night, Blendin came in exhausted and covered in glitter. “Ugh.. I am never doing that again..” He paused as he closed the door, “Hello? Anybody here?” The house seemed very quiet. Asta and Ninoga were off for their anniversary, while Drake and Vasha were off on their own air pirate adventures, Molli was glued to her phone with earphones in, and Wally left a note saying he went shopping for snacks. Blendin had texted Daring and she hadnt responded back yet so he went to a wall display and checked the rosters, finding out Daring, M and Kiros went off world and Skyggja and Sigryn were in their lab. Blendin almost had the whole house to himself. He went to his room and flopped into his computer chair, turning on his gaming tower, and putting headphones on his head as he grabbed a game controller.

He was just about to start a game when a soft set of black pawhands covered his eyes. “Aah! You’re getting fingerprints all over my glasses!!” He exclaimed, hearing laughter from the young sphinx, “Ty! What are you doing here? Arent you in Guardian training?”

The sphinx teen hopped onto Blendin’s bed, his adult coloration coming in finally. He was a little more filled out muscle wise than slender Blendin, since he was part of the wrestling team. His fur becoming a soft midnight with a slightly lighter brown stomach, his humanistic parts were still a honey brown, his human features becoming more of that of a handsome middle eastern man, though still lingering in the awkward teen stage. His black hair was resembling more of black iridescent rooster feathers as was his chest fluff and tail tip. His eyes were a golden honey color, and he was wearing a simple blue tunic and khaki board shorts, sandals on his feetpaws. “I’m done with training, I graduated top of the class and was even given the choice of my Librarian to guard!” Blendin hung the bulky headphones around his neck and turned his chair to look at him, “Thats awesome, dude! Who are you thinking of picking? Is it Emily? Please dont say Emily.. she is sooo insufferable with the fairytale sector.” Ty laughed, shaking his head, “No, I think she’s allergic to cats anyway..” Blendin raised an eyebrow, “You sure she aint just sayin that because she’s a Mouskin?” The feline smirked, “She sneezes all the time around me, I’m not picking her. I was actually wondering.. if perhaps I could pick you.” The young stallion tilted his head curiously, “But I thought Guardians and Librarians often become lovers. At least I think they used to-“ Blendin blinked as Ty suddenly was pressing his lips to his, their first kiss.

After a moment the kiss broke and both boys blushed, Blendin smirking, “Wow. How am I going to refuse after that??” Ty laughed as he leaned on the headrest of the chair, “I was thinking of maybe having a code name Wonderland. You know, Lion and the Unicorn?” Blendin snickered, “Are you calling me fat? That unicorn eats all the sweets while the lion wins the fight.. if anything you have more meat on your bones than I do!” They laughed and Blendin rubs the back of his head a little, “So does this mean that we’re a couple now too?” Ty shrugged. “I was thinking about leaving that part up to you, if you’d have me.” Blendin felt his cheeks blush even brighter than before. “Hells yeah!! I mean..If you want to, I don’t mind..” Ty laughed and ruffled Blendin’s hair, “I wouldn’t be asking you out if I didnt want to!…is.. is that glitter? Why are you covered in glitter?” Blendin gulped and shrugged with a grin, “Fairies?” Ty raised an eyebrow, “As much as that tracks, try again. I know your recent missions were not involving fairies.” Blendin sighed defeatedly, “Okay, fine, but you can’t let anyone else know… its kinda embarrassing.” The Sphinx crossed his arms, “Dude, I’ve seen you after taco tuesday when experimenting with tofu and bean burritos. There ain’t nothing I haven’t seen you do for some fuckin toilet time.”

Soon the date came by that the wives were due to arrive back. A new tapestry hung in a display in the loot storage from Daring’s first heist and switch, the kitchen was restored to near mint condition, and M was relaxing by the pool, a large dunking device sitting next to him. The device’s long arm was dunked in the deep end, the subject tied to was bubbling and thrashing for a good few minutes. The changeling didn’t seem concerned at all for their breathing. He reclined, arms resting behind his head, eyes shut behind some sunglasses, yet he was still dressed in a full black and dark teal suit. He crossed his ankles, his fetlocked hoof tapping the air as if he had a song stuck in his head.

Kalai had wandered down the stairs from the main floor, since the pool was currently residing in the open basement looking out towards the ocean sunset. “I thought you were going to meet us at the entry point, Mr. Tall, Dark and Moody.” She shapeshifted her clothes to be more fitting for the poolside, a golden bikini with a sheer hip wrap. M raised an eyebrow and smirked. “You gave me a date. Not a time. Besides, I got… distracted.” He nodded towards the commotion under the water. He looked at his watch and stood up, “Pardon me a moment..” he grunted, stepping on a pedal that lifted the device’s arm, showing a very disgruntled and soaked red changeling girl, Molli. “Now what have we learned about putting C4 in Red’s room while she was gone??” Molli writhed against the ropes and spit out curses at him, “Fuck you! You’re an asshole! She’s no good for you and you know it!” He stepped off the pedal, careening her back into the water, “Correct observation, wrong fucking lesson..” he chuckled as he resumed his spot on the lounge chair. “Should I even ask?” Kalai chuckled. M lit a fresh cigarette and shrugged, “Neh, just a crazy jealous ex who thinks every woman is out fer my cock, which is fuckin hilarious since I haven’t fucked in like two hundred or so years. Just ain’t interested. And who told her it was only women? There’s other people out there who would love a piece of this.” He gestured to his crotch with a small hip-lift and took a slow draw from his cigarette, Kalai shifting her weight to one hip and curiously tapped her finger to her chin. “Well, is it just women for you?” He let out the smoke in a steady blow, shrugging. “Since forever and fer now, I guess. Never bothered to want to explore it. Broads feel comfortable fer now but what really tickles my fancy is seeing who is stronger. If I can overpower them, I can control them and break them, feed off them. If they are stronger, I respectfully know my place.” Kalai smirks, nudging his legs over so she can sit on the edge of the lounger, receiving an annoyed flash of a sneer before he readjusts himself to let her sit. “So whats the deal with your sister in law then? She’s obviously weaker, or was for as long as you’ve known her, yet you treat her as equal or higher.” M gives off this groan of uncertainty, “Neeehhh its.. complicated. We found common ground and common needs that we could help each other with at the time and it just went from there.”

“She outsmarted you with logic?” Kalai chuckled, raising an eyebrow. “What? Fuck no. It was just a deal to help each other out. And she just kinda grows on yeh. She’s very persuasive.” M grimaced and scoffed at the audacity of the notion that he could be outsmarted by a simple mortal unicorn. “Well then what about me? Where do I stand?” She leans closer to him, batting her eyelashes. He looked over his sunglasses at her, looking her up and down before leaning his head back. “Eh.. hard to say. I recognize your powers differ from mine, yet are extremely similar. Not quite eldritch as I like to describe it. You do surpass me in power levels, but that could be due to age and experience easily.” She cocks her head a bit, with a confused gaze, “Are you calling me old? I’m not even middle aged yet!” M smirks, “I call it how it is. Yer older than me and I’m fuckin old compared to the fuckin morons on this planet. To me, you don’t look a day over 1,000.” She smiles, “So what you’re saying is you like older women.” He sits up and looks over his sunglasses again, “What I’m sayin is that I know my place around you and I’m comfortable with that.”

She smirks with an upward chin tilt and stands up, stepping on the device so the arm lifts Molli out of the water, coughing and sputtering. “And you were comfortable with leaving her underwater for this long?” Kalai sends out her vines and unties Molli and holds her, wrapped up like a python. She brings the little changeling closer to try to soothe her, reaching out a hand to brush Molli’s face. Molli in return hissed and shifting into a viper and bared her venomous fangs and was about to strike Kalai. “You will never sssteal him from me!! I will make sssure you dont sssee another sssunrisse!!! DIE!!”

M ripped off his sunglasses, seeing the fangs and noticing her particular venom, he turned himself into shadow, within what seemed like milliseconds if not instantly, took hold of the captured viper from the vine’s grip and forced her to her true form as he solidified, slamming her against the wall by her throat. His body suddenly bigger, and more monstrous, almost hulking with multiple limbs, most thin and spindly like spider legs, caging around them. Tentacles swarming as three sets of insect wings splayed open, his face almost looking skeletal with multiple glowing eyes, green with shades of red, bared down upon the offending changeling who clutched to the claws holding her throat, her hooves kicking for some footing to stand on, her own segmented eyes filled with absolute terror, he slowly growled at her, threatening sounds of his chittering sounded in the back of his throat.

“DID YOU LEARN NOTHING WHEN I THREW YOU TO THE SIDE CENTURIES AGO? AND YOU DEIGN TO RETURN TO ME AND THREATEN WHAT I HAVE RIGHTFULLY EARNED ALL BECAUSE I DO NOT RETURN YOUR AFFECTIONS? LET THIS MOMENT SET THINGS CRYSTAL CLEAR. IF YOU REMAIN AT THIS DOMAIN, YOU WILL CARE AND PROTECT YOUR TEAMMATES AND HOUSEMATES AS FAMILY. GENUINELY AND WITHOUT SEEKING REWARD. I TIRE OF YOUR GAMES AND HAVE WORN OUT MY HOSPITALITY AND PATIENCE. CHOOSE YOUR PATH TONIGHT. IF YOU CHOOSE TO CONTINUE THESE GAMES, I WILL DEVOUR YOU COMPLETELY WITH NO REMORSE. YOU WILL BE SPARED WITH NO ILL WILL IF YOU STAY AND CHOOSE TO TRULY BECOME A VILE AGENT OR IF YOU CHOOSE TO LEAVE YOU WILL BE SPARED BUT NEVER ALLOWED TO RETURN. MAKE YOUR CHOICE BY DAY BREAK.” Molli nods panickedly as he lets her go, dropping her to the floor and turning back towards Kalai, almost instantly back to his normal form, straightening his tie and putting his sunglasses back on, striding towards her. Molli ran back upstairs into the rest of the house to think about what she needs to do next. Kalai, on the other hand, watched M with his hulking form while biting her knuckle, her legs crossed tight. She stands to meet him as he returned towards her, her tail swishing a bit excitedly. “I apologize that you had to see that. Are you alright? Did she bite you at all?” He took her hand, examining it. Kalai let him hold her hand, a deep blush spread over her face as she looked into his shaded eyes. “N-no. I’m very fine. She didn’t bite me. Even if she did, it wouldnt do anything to me. Hell, I’m still holding and processing your brother’s disease in my own body so I can cure it fully. That is proving difficult but its not impossible.” She shifts the shape of her own body, as if dropping an illusion, her body riddled with small crystals ripping through her flesh before putting the illusion back on. M frowns, shaking his head. “I know you are helping but endangering your own life like this, you’ll run out of time.” Kalai laughed, “No I won’t. I’m practically life and death incarnate. This cannot harm me like it does your brother. So be at ease. I have it handled. Just like how you handled that girl back there.” She looked past him at the partially cratered wall. “That was impressively sexy by the way.” She reached up and fondled his tie within her hands, looking up at him. “Wut, That back there? That’s not supposed to be fuckin sexy..” M gave a questioning look, before she pulled his tie, bringing him closer like a leash. “Shut up and take the compliment.” He growled close with a smirk. “How about you shut up?” She grins, daring him. “How about you make me-Mmmh!~” He didn’t let her finish her challenge before his lips locked with hers, his hands wrapping around her hips. She melted a little as they kissed, her hands on his tie still. She pulled away first, softly giggling. “Touché.” He smirked, “So, did I do it right?”

“Do what right?”

“Did I seduce you?”

“You are how old and you forgot how to seduce?”

“I didn’t forget!!”

“You did! You totally forgot how to seduce a woman!”

M huffed. “I can seduce any woman I want!”

Kalai slid her neck to the side, “Then why did you ask?”

“I dunno, Red makes it look easy! And I tried being, I dunno, fuckin coy or something!”

“How can you forget how to seduce?! Its like forgetting how to eat!“

“Look, I don’t think you are aware, but I don’t like actual food.. like ever.”

��You don’t like food?”

“I can fuckin absorb emotions, why would I need food?!”

“Its called fun!”

“I don’t need food for fun..”

“And this is why you didn’t get laid for the past 200 years.”

That night, everyone had sat down for a well deserved home cooked meal by Carmen and Lekir, and a few more settings were placed for the new visitors. A Dragon King named Anorath had joined Carmen and Lekir for dinner along with a Lizard woman named Celica and the black and green Vixen Kalai, who had chosen to sit next to M. A fourth individual was also welcomed to the table, sitting by Daring. A tall and slim Kirin teen with some wolf like features, about 18-19 years of age. His long mane was an arctic blue while his fur was white, a single blue curved horn jutted from his forehead as much smaller horns ran along his hairline. He was exceptionally pretty, as Daring couldn’t take her eyes off of him. Instead of a normal Kirin tail, he had a canine one, yet still had the cloven hooves with long blue fetlocks. He smiled and joined in conversation, one would notice his teeth were also canine.

As Carmen stood to help serve the food, she clinked a glass for the undivided attention of the table. “All right, settle down, I know we’ve been gone a long while, longer for us than most you, but I wanted to say how glad we are to be back home! I wanted to thank Anorath, Celica and Kalai for helping us during this whole endeavor! And I wanted to formally introduce a new member to the family. Not new to me and Lekir but new to you all.. ya know.. time travel..” The table chuckled, and she continued, gesturing over to the Kirin teen, “I’d like you all to meet Aciano. He is our son. Lekir and I had a baby apparently. I have also updated my birth control to be strong enough for this demon Jirvi-Ketsru blood I have, since thats why this happened. My old birth control was not strong enough for my body anymore. So yeah. Thats fixed now. Um, so Aciano is going to be staying with us, he wanted to go see this world and see if he is interested in any special talents he may develop here. He’s a bit shy right now but I’m sure he’s grow into his place here with no issues.”

The table erupted into welcomes and laughter, Daring somewhat dropped her shoulders, “He’s my brother?! I got two brothers now? Dammit, I was hoping he wasn’t related!” Kiros nudged her with his elbow, chuckling. “That quick to change crushes?” Daring sputtered and glared at him, “What?! Psh.. No… what? Mm-mm nope. I have no idea what you’re on about.” Carmen smirked, “I just wish Blendin was here to meet you. He’s been rather busy with his Librarian duties. Oh! That reminds me, Adora, theres a magic show in town this weekend. Why not get aquatinted with Ace and show him around, you’ll have a blast! I just know it! Aaand I hear the magician has a new assistant you may like. I hear he’s your age and already has quite a following on Tik-Trot.” Daring blushed bright red and slouched, hiding in her wings. “Mother!! Stop trying to set me up with random boys! I’ll pick someone when I’m ready!” Carmen blinked, thinking she was mistaken, “So sorry, Would you rather me see if theres any girls you may like instead? Just let me know if thats what you prefer..” Daring hid more in her wings, groaning. “No Mom! I like boys but I don’t need any help finding anyone! Fuck!” Carmen raised an eyebrow, “Adora Knapsack Yearling! Language! We have guests!!”

M piped in “Oy, Red, give the kid a fuckin break, yeah? She pulled off a hell of a first heist while you were gone. Give her some slack. And mind you, she was the FIRST VILE agent to go across dimensions for yer precious loot. I’d say she deserves extra dessert or somethin!” Carmen beamed, “Thats absolutely wonderful news! Absolutely she can extra dessert! And You can help her write up the report after dinner.. which by the way, M. Hand me your plate, I’ll put it in the cupboard for you.” M scowled, in mid reach of a plate of stuffed artichoke. “Um why the fuck would I do that? I’m eating right here with the rest of yez.” Carmen smiled wide, motioning to Kalai, “Oh Kalai and I had a nice conversation about dinner and how you dont like food in general. So I’m not going to force you to eat if you don’t like my cooking..” M stood up, insectoid chittering could be heard faintly as his ears pinned back, “What the absolute fuck? I never fuckin said I didnt like your cooking! I just dont eat for fun! Appreciating the hard work of a home cooked meal is a whole ‘nother fuckin thing entirely!”

Carmen slow blinks at him, and gestures for his plate again, “And your appreciation is noted and welcomed, but I won’t force you to eat if you don’t like to eat. Now hand over your plate.” M scowls and keeps his hand on top of his plate. “Fer fuck sake, Red! I want this food! Yeah I can fuckin absorb all yer good feelings and shit but I like having fuckin solid food too even if I don’t need it to survive!”

Kalai smirked at him, “So what you’re saying is that you do like eating food for fun? You keep falling for her logic, I can see why you see her as an equal..” M glowered, “I will find where you fuckin sleep and I wont even bother making it look like an accident..” Kalai just leans towards him with a grin. “Mmm. Kinky.”

#mlp oc pony #carmen pondiego #ask blog #story update #ao3 fanfic #marehem #ask me anything #new son who dis?#lookit those gay bois #chapter 26

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godeaterazathoth · 1 year ago

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Issues I have with ikevamp

That I’m venting here because they won’t leave my skull

*Content warning, we’re talking about men in the past, they did some bad stuff*

Part 1, historical inaccuracies

I’m I history nut so this really gets to me, since I know the deep details of these peoples lives.

The timeline, ok so the game takes place in 18th France, correct me if I’m wrong but I think it is in the second empire (1852-1870) considered there is a noble class, yet you can clearly see the Eiffel Tower which was completed in 1889, there is no mention of the 1889 exposition, so it must be after the tower had become permanent, by then the 3rd republic was around, if we are in the republic the Count wouldn’t be called that by the npcs at all the parties he goes to, no matter which we’re in, NOBODY mentions Napoleon III at, NOT EVAN HIS UNCLE (WHOSE SOMEHOW BECAME CASS CONSCIOUS!)

How does the time travel work, example, Dazai died in 1948, his plan was seemingly to wait until he’s born in 1909 then kill himself as a baby, but then he decides to use the magic door, what are the consequences of 2 Dazais existing at once or him erasing himself from history, he’s a pretty important literary figure, does someone else replace him or does the space time continuum collapse?? Is the future Vlad sees set in stone or can it be changed, just copy someone else’s time travel bit!!!

So straight up these guys aren’t who they say they are, we’ll go through 1 by 1

Napoleon- doesn’t mention he left the love of his life to marry a girl 20 years his junior (like think how interesting it would be if he’s conflicted about love cuz he had to give it up for political reasons) -that scene where MC talks about all the ‘good’ that he did in Europe, like committing war crimes against the Spanish and Portuguese and Eastern Europeans, being a coloniser, killing the slaves he freed when they asked for more rights, killing thousands of men in a meaningless war (ligit H*tler vibes)

Arthur- goofy irl, literally believed in fairies, had 5 children and married twice but he never mentions any of this, he cheated on his first wife while she was dying of TB, he was a liberal unionist (tldr didn’t like Irish people) he was anti-immigration, might have committed fraud. We’ll get to the other issues I have with him.

Leonardo- fruity as hell, vegetarian

Mozart- they got his character completely wrong, the guy was a complete man child, vain, broke, by the end of his life his career fell off (Beethoven better composer), in love with his cousin 🤢, had a s*at fetish 🤢🤢🤢. The hole Salieri thing didn’t happen.

Vincent- they made him too mentally stable, I’m all for him being meek, but the guy had serious issues that they ignore, he ate paint thinner, was rejected by his both crushes, WHY DOES HE HAVE BOTH EARS, DID IT GROW BACK, THEY SHOULD HAVE LEFT HIM WITH ONLY ONE, also he should be ginger smh. Oh yeah and they never mentioned the s*ecide attempt.

Theo- doesn’t mention his wife, or son, WHO HE NAMED AFTER VINCENT, his wife is the person responsible for Vincent’s work not being completely forgotten, was way nicer irl.

Issac- tbh hotter irl, low key ace, maybe a fruit, kinda mean, the only thing they got right was the major virgin vibes.

Jean- WHY MAN!??!! Even if the didn’t want a lesbian route, they could have gone with any other guy from the 100 years war, Edward black prince, idk WHY GENDER BEND ONE OF THE MOST PROMINENT WOMEN IN HISTORY, I’m fine with the delusional trans dude lie, but they say that he was a guy all along, THEN WHAT WAS THE POINT OF HIM BEING BURNT AT THE STAKE IF HE WASN’T CROSS DRESSING???!!! was he double cross dressing??? This is the worst of them all, give me the girl boss we deserve (revers fate)

Dazai- not depressed enough imo, he was a leftist, again missing wife, their were two su*ecide attempts, guy lived through fire bombing, had a few children that he is fine to erase from existence.

Shakespeare- probably a fruit, again never mentioned his wife and kids, btw the way he talks is annoying, some people don’t think he’s real.

Faust- NOT A REAL PERSON.

Sanson- too young, this guys is 67, really liked the guillotine, just saw execution as his job didn’t really care, had a wife and kids.

Vlad- Ok is he supposed to be Vlad THE impaler? Cuz he’s not evil enough, or is he a Dracula reference, cuz he can’t dance that dance either, why did they call him Vlad if he isn’t a blood thirsty war criminal.

Count- not enough history to work with.

Part 2, problematic moments

So I ha have seen some posts on the low key misogynistic way the MC is written and treated and there are a lot of issues wit white washing history so another trigger warning ⚠️

Misogyny- the MC of this game is not the best, I know she’s a self insert but she has no backbone at all. She lacks agency I’m most of the routes, like the MC getting kidnapped is a troupe in all these games, but Emma can escape on her own, Kate has ⚽️, even Alice had more depth to her, seems the only thing MC can do is cry and wait to be saved, I swear she gets kidnapped once in every route, I think they could have given her more character to work with. Another thing, but Jean being a man is bad, really bad, she’s a feminist icon but they made her a man, it’s sought of saying that women aren’t capable of this so she had to have actually been a man.

Handling of SA, important one here, I’m ok with the flirty guy, but I really hate Arthur, he doesn’t just flirt with her in chapter 1 he assaults her and acts like he did her a service, and she just forgives him!?! I’m fine with a guy that sleeps around, I like Jin and Nokto fine, but the way Arthur talks about women, always calling them Birds (if they were going for English slang it doesn’t work cuz he doesn’t have a cockney accent) or worse Skirts, it’s dehumanising, and shows that to him women are vehicles for sexual pleasure and aren’t on an equal level of understanding. There are smaller parts to, Leo kisses her without consent, the Count hides the truth from her, idk but Theo calling her a ‘hound’ sounds like he’s calling her something else…

Minor points on classism, I’m not expecting the communist manifesto, but all these games aren’t very good at dealing with class deviation. In Vlad’s route, the orphan boy thinks he can impress the rich girl, this is the 19th century, capitalism is on the rise, but there’s no comment about how it’s impossible. The little school Napoleons runs is strange, considering he was in a position where benefited from poor people existing and staying poor, ( side note, he’s teaching them swordsmanship when ww1 is right around the corner, just saying they won’t need it in the military) called MC out as a social climber, these games sought of depict the past through rosé tinted glasses, there’s only passing reference to how fucked people were in the past, Also all the historical inaccuracies above tie to this.

Anyway love to hear some other opinions, (I started playing this game before my transition and have always thought it it was wired, it’s my personal least favourite just cuz I couldn’t really get into any of the guys, my OC ended up as a Carmilla reference so….)

I have seen a post talking about some of the issues before so that’s what got me to write this out, if you disagree or want to add anything I’m all ears 👂

Thanks for reading 💗💖💖💕💓💝💗🥰🥰🥰❤️✨✨✨✨❤️⭐️⭐️⭐️

#ikemen vampire #ikevamp #ikepri #ikevil #ikerev #ikemen series

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crystallinestars · 6 months ago

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I saw the banner and it’s kinda relief that Kaveh isn’t pulling up with Haitham, even though the community I’m in is absolutely losing their marbles over this ahahah. Hopefully he will be with Nilou instead, I want them both 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻

Though OMG I saw one of the voice lines from new Sumeru guy Sethos regarding Haitham and Kaveh and the ship pandering that you’ve mentioned before, it’s so real 🙁 Like it’s along the lines of “Something about those two guys hanging out together, you just can’t look away.” Apparently the original CN line doesn’t even carry the same implication, like it focuses more on the fact that ah, these two famous people are hanging out and it’s eye-catching (?), iirc. For some reason English translator wanted it to look more sus ig. And the fandom is gobbling it up… haizzzz 🙄

I don’t know anymore honestly, when Mihoyo tosses the bait, the fandom will absolutely latch on to that stuff and make sure to rub it in everyone’s faces. “Ah, they are GAY for each other and everyone else who doesn’t feel the same way is WRONG” kind of thing. As far as I’ve seen, the only other ship whose fans get so insistent and up in arms about their ship and the sexuality HCs is a certain pair of Inazuman women (and even for these two idk if Mihoyo has baited as hard as they have for Haitham and Kaveh???). To many fans, close same-sex friendships are no longer viable; they must be kissing and getting hitched next week. And as usual, bisexual people do not exist in Hoyoverse fandom’s eyes. They’ve locked me out of Pride Month 🤣

Also, I was thinking about how pushy the fans could get and I wonder if it’s something that’s exclusive to the English-speaking fandom? IIRC I’ve also seen other nationalities such as the Indonesian fans who say that their part of fandom is not any better 😅 Cos I’m genuinely curious if the CN/JP/KR (or any other nationality) fans get so aggressive about ships, sexuality HCs, etc. I remember another anon mentioned how shipping as activism has become a thing and it seems like it’s really big among American fans in particular (and at this point, probably other anglophone fans).

I don’t even play HSR (cos no space on my device) but I’m just absolutely eating up the AvenStelle and AvenPaz feasts in lieu of what NL crumbs there are for Kaveh because hot DAMN Aventurine is just so fine. 😭 And Stelle, Topaz… they’re soooo pretty (it’s a digression but when I was at the con, many girls dressed as Stelle, and I observed that her fit looks good on pretty much everyone). I find it kinda interesting that even though Aventurine has a popular BL ship and a fandom that also likes to do the “he can’t be anything but gay because of his looks and personality” thing, he also has not just one but two popular NL ships. The tags for both on Twitter are alive and kicking, compared to if you go onto KavehLumi, KaveLou, etc and it’s a very, very small trickle of activity in comparison.

Not quite ready to stop playing yet because I need to build up my new team with Layla, Faruzan, Scara but maybe after I’ve done this, I’ll take a break to cook Kaveh food on AO3 ahahahah.

I think that I lack the ability to write short asks… Hope it is not too painful to read (and sorry for negative vibes 🙁).

-🍓

Welcome back 🍓 Anon! No worries, I like receiving long asks ^_^ They're not painful to read at all, trust me. Nothing will ever top the pain that is reading academic research papers 😐

In the same vein, I hope my super long responses aren't too much for you. I can't keep them short even if I tried. And don't apologize for negative vibes, I get that sometimes you want to vent your frustrations and thoughts with someone who can relate. I would even say that between the two of us, I'm more negative haha 😅

I legit wanted to celebrate with a bottle of champagne when it was revealed Kaveh wasn't on Haitham's banner. Finally a win. I know the community is having a meltdown, but truth be told, their tears water my crops, clear my skin, and and extend my life by 10 years. 😊 I'm having a good day. If I actually bothered to look at their comments, I'd grab a bag of popcorn and have a field day.

And yes, I also hope he's with Nilou! I always thought they'd be together since they're both bloom-based, but some people speculate he might be with Furina/Sigewinne. Guess we'll see. Kaveh has been gone for over a year, which is so unusual for a 4 star. I though they were withholding him because of the deletion glitch a hacker did using him, but it's been a good while since then...

Regarding English localization... it has been established since a while ago that the English translation for Genshin and HSR leaves much to be desired. There have been multiple instances of mistranslations and butchering of characterization. Rhinedottir, Nahida, and Arlecchino had masculine pronouns in the beginning before the translators realized they messed up. Characters dialogue is often translated to sound more aggressive than it actually is, or subtleties get omitted entirely. It's a mess, basically.

I also wouldn't be surprised if the English localization team for Hoyo is trying to push their own agenda using their translations. Over the past year, I've seen proof that English localizers for anime and Japanese video games push their personal beliefs by butchering the original source material to suit their political standpoints.

The fandom doesn't even need poorly-translated dialogue to gobble up ship crumbs. They twist and misconstrue official media to try and push their ship being canon. Basically make their own crumbs haha.

I would agree with you that the only other same-sex ship that gets as much gatekeeping and toxicity as the Roommate Ship TM is the one with the electro Inazuman ladies. I would also go as far as to say that yes, they also get almost as much pandering, though maybe a tiny bit less? Just a bit. At least both of them can be seen solo or interacting with other characters frequently, and don't have forced moments of interaction for ship bait.

Please don't get me started on same-sex dynamics in Genshin and HSR. It feels like you can ask any shipper of a popular same-sex ship, and they'll tell you that every single character is either gay or lesbian, no in-between. And if they do accept other sexualities, then characters can be anything but straight. NEVER straight (as a saw someone say about Aventurine while using his lightcone art with Ratio as "proof" that he can't possibly be straight, how dare you ship him with a woman).

So yes, according to a significant portion of the fandom, only homosexuality exists, all other sexualities be damned. And yes, characters of the same sex can never be just friends, they're only ever "implied to be a canon gay/lesbian couple". The worst part is that Mihoyo actively encourages their delusions by pandering to the BL and GL sides of the fandom, and the toxic portions of those rub it in everyone else's face, as you said.

It's ok 🍓 Anon, even if they locked you out of Pride Month, you can come celebrate it with me 😊 (I'm straight though, hope that's ok).

The English-speaking side of the fandom is definitely extremely toxic. They've become notorious for harassing artists from East Asia over ships, so they've got a bad rep there too.

As far as I've personally seen, the Japanese side is pretty chill. People liberally block and mute stuff and people they don't want to see, but they do it quietly to avoid conflict.

I have a friend in China, and she told me that the toxicity is just as bad there as it is in the West. Chinese fans don't fight over sexuality, but they do fight over BL and NL ships. I can't say anything about Korea since I haven't seen anything from them, but I imagine it might be similar.

I also want to add that I haven't seen any ship wars for the Russian side of fandom, but I might just not be looking in the right places. I'd be pressed to find NL stuff there, though...

Lmao, Aventurine converted so many players to HSR. I was one of them (thought I started before he was drip marketed). That man is simply too gorgeous. And oh my god, you cannot imagine how stoked I was that Avenstelle (and Avenpaz) became so popular! It helps that Aventurine is still a new character, so his ships are very popular at the moment, but for two NL ships to be so abundant? Mihoyo would be fools to shoehorn him with Ratio, like what they did to Kaveh. Lowkey, I hope Avenstelle can be as popular as Chilumi so Mihoyo does more with them in the story (and I can continue seeing fanart of them years later).

Kaveh is a tragic case, but I think that's mostly because he has two things going against him:

1) He's a "tall" man, and as we have all seen, Mihoyo loves to create "tall" characters in same-sex pairs.

2) He's a 4 star. 4 stars are always less popular compared to 5 stars, both in ship combinations and overall popularity (I would know, 90% of my fav male characters are 4 stars. There's so little solo and NL content for them).

Surprisingly, Kaveh has a lot of NL ships (with Faruzan and even Layla too), it's just unfortunate they're not popular. Kinda hard to be popular when Mihoyo gives no food for those ships, and the toxic shippers harass you for shipping him with a girl. Mihoyo isn't even trying.

On the bright side, though there isn't much regular content for Kavehlumi and Kavelou, there are dedicated fans for those pairings that still create things for those ships.

I run a Daily Kavehlumi Twitter account, and though it's not bustling (I'm just not good at garnering a following lol), it's got over 200 posts and I still haven't even gotten through the majority of all Kavehlumi content that exists on Twitter. We'll be hosting a Kavehlumi week in July, and I hope we'll get a few participants to make even more content to celebrate the ship. I'll be taking a break from posting on Tumblr this month to write some things for it.

I'm curious though, what kind of Kaveh food are you hoping to cook? 👀 Is it for a specific ship, or something else?

Anyways, I wish you luck on building your Scara team (Who is the 4th member, btw?), and may you have a good day! 😘

#Lunaria answers

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theragethatisdesire · 1 year ago

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i’m sorry ur not feeling well 🥺💗 sending you positive vibes tonight!!

for the slumber party plz tell me allll about your favourite character that you don’t currently write about 🙊 i wanna hear all the secret deets

HEY TIFFFFF i appreciate it :( i hope i'm not like being annoying venting on here i'm just so miz and i know my irls are sick of hearing it lolol anyways!!!!

okay my current obsession is gojo. and bc i haven't actually started the fic yet, i don't technically write for him often, only per request. does that count? idk i wanna talk ab gojo lol

just gonna throw everything below a cut because idk where i'm headed with this. minors stay away!

this is like, canonical, but gojo's so fucking annoying LMAO like i just know he is the most obnoxious, can't-sit-still, sarcastic asshole on the planet. he really makes it hard to love him sometimes.

this....is not a spoiler for a fic i'm def not writing (wink wink) but i just don't think gojo could really properly fall for someone who was not powerful. like i think part of his distance from others is his (admitted) narcissism that is somewhat well-earned considering he is....gojo fucking satoru. he needs someone that is at least somewhat towards the top of their ranks in whatever they do.

i also feel like gojo would be encouraging to a fault? like always pushing you further towards your goals, stepping in obnoxiously if your boss doesn't notice you've been working your ass off for a promotion (again, annoying). like he won't rest until you've made progress.

gojo also gets baby girl-ified WAY too much

like hear me out

we see him through the eyes of the kids/around his students in most of s1, and that's not to say he doesn't have the potential to be a playful, lighthearted person *when he wants to be*

but remember that scene of him talking to the jujustu higher-up where the guy tells him to watch his mouth and gojo laughs in his fucking face??

he's an egotistical, all-powerful, ballsy maniac. like gojo is not braiding your hair and cooing in your ear 24/7.

he is slowly backing you into a wall and taking what he wants from you. like sorry he just is.

also gojo strikes me as someone who is ....nasty. like, blood and knife play, gun play, psychopathic kind of nasty in the bedroom. idk if i would personally ever write that, but he's been through so much and seen so much gore you know that that's fucked with his....tastes, so to speak

i do think however that gojo would be absolutely devoted to his partner

like it would take him forever to come around and accept that he now felt responsible for protecting yet another person and that he had accidentally formed a connection (i see gojo as also having a very weird relationship with his humanity vs. his divinity but more on that another time)

but once he's around? he's in it for life. i mean, even if you don't ship stsg, you must acknowledge that gojo has never been willing to truly let geto go. he couldn't kill him, refused to believe geto had done that even though geto was showing signs of deteriorating mentally.

he's the same way with his partner. good luck breaking up with gojo because it's going to be a years long process.

gojo loves someone who can push back at him. he doesn't want an entirely submissive partner (kinda like eren!)

he likes someone who will put him in his place, has a sharp tongue, isn't afraid to stand up for themselves or others.

love language is absolutely gift-giving like that man has to spoil his partner he can't help it

size kink. turns his infinity on mid-sex to punish you. wants to have sex where he stands overlooking tokyo in the s1 opening. always takes the blindfold off during sex. huge public sex guy. i said what i said. it's hard being correct.

i could literally go on for HOURS tiff you have no idea the grip this man has on me. i cannot wait to write this fic!!!!!!!! ah!!!!!

thanks for coming to my slumber party lovie kisses from me to u :)

#rage.rambles #gojo #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru headcanons #tiff.moot #slumber party

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sysig · 11 months ago

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2023 Art Purge

Original edition! Ended up having to split the doodles into two parts, I didn’t mean to end up with so many left over but oops - onto the commentary!

Remember crayon Edgar? I drew this one at the same time! Loosely based off Circus Baby but really just more of a general cutesy look - layering with colours is fun :)

Eyes, every year. Two general eyes, and two characters! Bottom left is Souichi, and bottom right is Vivian :) Vivian always gets a spare eye haha

Some concept art for a false backpack I still kinda wanna make - it’d be a prop for a game I made earlier this year, as the prize container! It’s meant to be kind of like a pop-up shop that can fold away fairly small and hold a bunch of small items safely and inconspicuously, though it wouldn’t actually work as a real backpack lol

Some Cherubsona concept art, thinking about their hair and the light rays - I considered having a single asymmetrical hair tuft, I think while I was still on the fence about having asymmetrical wings as well - I’m happy with the final design :)

And some baby angels! Based on my DQIX/AGE headcanons/actual canon lol, took a few tries to get a design I was happy with before settling on the bottom-most one with the fuzzed ears, lolling about haha. Cute!

Also thinking about “Fallen” designs, since my cherubsona is meant to be a fallen angel - or even just biblically accurate angels! Maybe they became more normal-looking after falling haha

More Charm doodles based on the Hungry idea - neither Frankenstein nor Zombies were quite what I was looking for, but they were close! Poor Charm, even if it is a Look

More eyes! Concept sketches of the Yanderapy boys :D Mitsu’s swirls and Ishida’s sleepy ♥ eye expression haha

An alternate panel of Mitsu being shy to admit his love language haha, I wanted his expression to be a little more visible but him hiding in the book is also very cute haha

Little doodle of Ishida singing Daisy Bell! He’s half-crazy all for the love of Mitsu after all

Technically these are from later in the year but I was really hoping to have the set up for a silly concept rolling - Ishida wants to play a game! The game would allow each of them to take a turn, with the goal of the game to be to sneak a gift into the other’s bag or pocket when he’s not looking. A cute and silly and fun concept to reverse pick-pocket the other and give a little treat! Totally harmless and not at all strange or weird or with any kind of underlying sinister vibes!

The punchline of course was that since they’re both yanderes that it basically turns into stalking each other, which as featured here, Mitsu is very into, who could have guess lol. The double punchline is that they’re both so aware of/obsessed with each other that they notice each other right away, but play along because it’s obvious that they’re both enjoying it haha It’s yandere enrichment! Ishida would also get a real rush from “hunting” Mitsu, as would Mitsu enjoy being “hunted” - yet more twisted love languages ♥

Random deer :) Actually one of the animals I considered for Dahlia early on but decided to scrap, because I don’t know how to draw deer lol

Also went through a couple scrapped designs for her artist friend, just to make sure I explored all my options thoroughly! I’m glad I did, but I’m happiest with the one I decided on, of course

Brief Dahlia and Tala meeting. They’re unsure of each other! Squirrels and dogs don’t have the best track record admittedly

Bit of vent :( Bar’s always good for it ♥

Bucket! :D Been a bit since I drew anyone from that cast, though I somehow made him on-model by accident lol, and of course he’s still cute! That’s the important part really

Eyesssssssss <3 <3 On the left were some quick comparisons between dot/filled-in eyes and eyes with a differentiated pupil and iris, since I’ve been defaulting to dark eyes a lot lately (it’s the Vargas influence lol); and on the right were a bunch of Cure eyes! I think at least partially studied off of some character creators? Lots of eye styles to choose from, which one suits her the best hmm. She has very sparkly eyes

And another sort-of study off a character creator haha, it’s very cute! Not very Cure, though

One of the early ideas that made me want to dig her out of storage was actually an animation idea that was maybe a liiiiiittle ambitious to go about making without her having a fixed design lol - I’ve always been a fan of magical girl transformations that completely glow-blot out the body and then they explode into frills and bows and fluff at the end haha. I would still like to come back to the idea at some point!

Ended up with a good handful of muscle studies, even after the ones I already posted - a lot of the poses ended up silly haha

And a lot of skull/face/neck studies as well, with mixed success :P

I’ll get it figured out eventually!

Sometimes it’s fun to just doodle around, shapes :) My own original human style feels so constantly in flux with the fanart I like to make and having so many non-human characters haha, probably doesn’t help that I prefer high stylism

A trio! They look kinda familiar, hmmm....

Yet more eyes lol, the first trying to figure shines. You can really see what a lack of editing does to the implied shapes pfft ♪

Always trying to figure out how to dragons! Another one I’ll have to get to Someday. There’s gotta be a trick to them >:0

Out of general studies and tests - hey I thought Just Desserts already had a sona??? And that she was like the most important and best and all that?? I got curious what my sona might be in the JD universe without being the villain haha, and I came up with a Chocolate-Chip Brioche Bun lad! :D I’ve always had something of an affinity for brioche, also somewhat inspired by Edgeworth’s cravat haha. But would Charm still exist and be wreaking havoc, or would this be the alternate universe Charm equivalent?? ‘Cause they’re definitely not “Charm”

Speaking of Charm tho! She’s holding a tooth lol - something something, candy people mining teeth? Because cavities? I dunno lol, but she’s certainly not all that much bigger than a tooth so that’s some fun scale for you :)

And finishing off with some cutesie little chibis :) I made the first as a reference for proportions, and the second to show how my holosona would look in that style haha, what a cute evil computer

#Doodles #Original #Long post #Extreme link-out edition lol #Multiple editions!#Had to be working on this one up to the last minute since y'know - still making even up to the end of the year!#Luckily this one was very well-behaved and didn't break even a little bit :) Very polite! Very appreciated haha #I have to admit I'm a little nervous about the fanart one on that front #But for now! Mostly silly sona stuff and OCs and the like :D Some concept art here and there #I'm gonna try harder in 2024 to have fewer leftovers - I like all of these! I want to show them off in their good timing!#I had fewer mixed salad greens in one post this year :0 That's on me #It's tough when I only end up with a small handful of doodles leftover to any given subject! But it's fine if some sets are smaller haha #I think the eyes will always have a spot in the end-of-year roundups tho haha #As always there'll be more 2023 doodles on the way! More than the previous years actually since I've gotten these roundups done early #Cuts both ways haha - queues still absolutely kill me |P But they do give me a cushion to work on bigger projects!#Just need the focus and energy for them lol #Anyway I'm getting ahead of myself a bit lol - there's still a whole 'nother one of these coming up sheesh lol #And I doubt that one will be as polite XP Even more reason to like this one! Haha #I'll letcha know when 2024 is ''officially'' here art-wise - I can tell you it won't be for a while haha

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just-antithings · 2 years ago

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sorry, i need to vent about the porn addiction thing a bit.

while i’m by no means anti-porn, i do think we need to encourage healthy engagement with it (which is honestly skewed towards a heavily anti-porn bias in american society, which is not healthy. you aren’t bad for looking at porn or finding it interesting/entertaining/arousing! and let me tell ya it hurts seeing people with perfectly normal porn habits thinking they’re porn addicts and thus horrible and going to hurt someone inevitably. the current views on porn and sexual content in america at least is unhealthy as all hell, and we have gotta change that.)

but i dated someone who definitely had a porn dependency, if we can use that term. he would bombard me with hentai and other assorted lewd stuff constantly, and got to the point that he wasn’t attracted to me anymore and lied about it or dodged the question. it really sucked. there were many other issues, but he was almost constantly looking at porn, to the point of neglecting everything else in his life, and refused to talk about his problems and called me crazy whenever i tried to express concern (i. e. are you depressed, anxious, do you need to talk, etc). there were a lot more issues than just the excess use of porn, but honestly it’s the easiest one to convey (it’s very difficult to sum up half a decade of abuse the same way as “he didn’t even want me to touch him because of it, and called me crazy when i asked if he was okay”). him making fun of me for all of this and publicly saying i was clearly hypersexual for wanting to be intimate with him is still a sore spot, honestly, and getting mad when i told him we needed to discuss the problem before it got worse still was a matter of huge frustration as well. no matter how i tried to express a concern, he’d deflect pretty hard. we were talking about maybe getting married before i broke things off, and i was ready to drop all of my dreams and wants for the future because he’d convinced me that was the best i could get.

again, i have zero issues with porn itself. so long as it’s all made by consenting adults, cool! hell, i make adult content myself— it’s something i enjoy, and people are willing to pay well for it too. but i feel we need a good term for when it becomes a replacement for other things in life resulting in neglect of those other things. while i agree addiction is the wrong term and has anti-porn roots (and i would also prefer to have a term that doesn’t blame the porn— or blames no one, ideally, as i said we have a highly unhealthy relationship with sex in america) i’m not sure what other terms would be. is dependency too close to addiction and/or still gives an anti-porn vibe?

like anything that brings pleasure to people healthy engagement is important, and that’s different for everyone. i just happened to be with a selfish person who used porn to the point of it detracting from his life and to the point of it killing my self-confidence.

if there’s a simple term for this already that would be rad. but whenever i see these arguments start i can’t help but think of myself and all the others who have had relationships wrecked by their partners preferring porn and masturbation over them. it’s kinda hard not to feel hurt in that scenario. is there a specific term for porn as a vehicle for abuse, maybe? or as a way to avoid being genuine with a partner? i suppose just selfishness, immaturity, and such are all terms to use, but in this scenario specifically i just want a term that isn’t anti-porn that can sum it up.

tl;dr, i’m in favor of porn and lewd content, i just wish there was a better term for people who use it to the point of distress and pain for partners and neglect of their own health, relationships, and spaces than one coined by anti-porn and evangelical groups.

i would love to be wrong on this and have some kind of thing pointed out that it was not in fact an addiction or dependency, it was xyz or abc or what have you. i don’t want to hang onto something like that when it’s not really what went on. it’s entirely possible i missed a ton of cues (god knows i still don’t know all of what he said that was lies and what was truthful) and he just didn’t want to admit to being asexual or something in that vein (if he thought it was a bad thing or something?? hell if i know, toxic masculinity is weird as fuck), but i don’t know anymore what to think. what are your thoughts? you can delete this if you don’t want to discuss it, and i don’t want to start a purity debate or anti-porn debate in your inboxes, either. i’m just… hoping that there’s a way to find nuance, because these kinds of things definitely happen. sorry for dumping all this in here. i just want to understand a bit better if anyone has knowledge i lack.

honestly it took me a long time to decide if i should send this or not, since i don’t want to cause a bunch of bullshit or to be disrespectful to anyone in this discussion. but i figure, too, people who are also in favor of nsfw stuff and against censorship would be best to ask do i don’t get a ton of bullshit about it? again, i apologize if this is all me overreacting or not seeing something obvious. i would love to be able to pinpoint something specific or have a simple way to sum up that aspect of the abuse. if i’m wrong i do politely ask for further reading or information so i can educate myself and learn. thank you for your time and again sorry for the lengthy message!

Porn addiction (as it's used nowadays) is actually a subset of sex addiction, and you have a sex addiction when it... starts causing the problems any addiction in your life causes. It is not the amount you consume - its how consuming it at all affects your life. Like even your ex, it wasn't that he was engaging in porn and liked porn, it's that it caused what sounds like numerous interpersonal problems, which is why it wasn't a healthy engagement.

Because healthy engagement is very subjective? Like I read. A lot of porn. I look at an insane amount of drawn porn because I'm Hella hypersexual and it's Soothing to consume the porn. But the amount of porn I consume isn't negatively impacting my life or relationships. I'm only not in my slut era and having random hookups because of covid and pregnancy risk (don't suggest I just fuck people without dicks that doesn't solve the covid issue yall, also i like dick) but I have like. Real Actual Problems from being hypersexual that looking at porn helps me with.

A lot of people equate porn addiction with the amount consumed. Its not. It's about how it impacts you and your life so tbh? I'd call it CSB (compulsive sexual behavior) and start... looking into resources about helping addicts use safely. Those primarily deal with drug use, but I'm p sure you can find non-ableist resources about how to help the addicts in your life in general. I included the links I looked at while answering this as a starting point. Wikipedia is sourced and the places those pages pulled from might also be helpful.

What happened to you was super fucked up, but tbh based on my knowledge of addiction and even just a little research into CBS makes it sound like he had a real problem he was struggling with and handling badly. But what his issue was goes beyond just. The amount of porn he was looking at. It was how it seemed to have invaded other aspects of his life and had very negative impact.

(one, two, three)

#addiction ment #hypersexuality ment #sex shaming ment #abuse ment #drug addiction ment #mod seraphim

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